But judge....

[THEKATZ*{MEOW}*]

Parker P. Parkinfarker is his name.  Let’s just call him Parker.
AKA Town drunk. 
Been before this judge many times for drunk and disorderly and the judge is at ends on what to do.
So, after careful thought, he sentences old man Parker to church for the next 4 Sundays and is not to return to this court for any reason until after he completes his sentence.....

He’s back, Parker finds his way back before the judge after the very first Sunday!  Not only is Parker back, he is back with two black eyes!
Now the judge as you can imagine, with a shaking head looking at the docket looks up and see’s old man Parker standing before him. Of course old man Parker starts talking about what happened in only the way Parker could understand. 
So the judge intervenes and tells Parker, “look, tell me how you got the first black eye?”
Parker with head down slowly looks up and states,” well, you know how the preacher always says something and when he stops everyone gets on their knees and prays and then we all stand up?”  The judge, looking at Parker, “please continue.”
Parker continues, “Well, when we stood up I noticed the lady in front of me had her dress stuck between her cheeks. I know how uncomfy that can be so I reached over and un-tucked it”
The judge is like really waiting to hear more of this, holding back the biggest grin that only a Texan judge could have, ask him, “so she gave you a black eye?”
Parker shaking his head yes the judge ask, “well how about the other black eye?”
Parker looked quizzically up at the judge and says, “Well, see’in she did not like that, I tucked it back in”

 

tk

[NighEve*{MEOW}*]

BREAKING NEWS: The President has just confirmed that the DC earthquake occurred on a rare and obscure fault-line, apparently known as "Bush's Fault". The President also announced that the Secret Service and Maxine Waters continues an investigation of the quake's suspicious ties to the Tea Party. Conservatives, however, have proven that it was caused by the founding fathers rolling over in their graves

[THEKATZ*{MEOW}*]

That is funny Eve! 

[NighEve*{MEOW}*]

Just remember: whenever you're feeling lonely, or if you need someone to talk to there IS someone out there who will call you faithfully, want you desperately, and even send you cards and letters without being asked. All you have to do is skip a payment.